Every sexual experience is usually a unique one but they don’t always leave a lasting impression. 

This was brought to my attention recently while traveling in Barcelona (talk about an amazing city btw). I had some great sexual experiences while there but this one was……definitely unique. 

Often times my sex stories are wrought with intrigue and oozing with sex appeal, but this one is not that AT ALL.

Here’s what happens when the sexual experience is not one worth writing erotica about….

I had been swiping tinder for a couple weeks before finding this particular human. He was good looking, a musician (yes, I always seem to fall for the musician types), tattooed with a hint of something special…or so I had hoped. 

I had chatted with sooooooo many men and none of them could commit to a single cup of coffee let alone a sexual adventure. I’m not sure if it was my straight forward demeanor, perhaps they didn’t believe i was a real human or they wanted a bit of romancing before meeting up, I’m not really sure. But I was striking out over and over and over.

But this guy, after chatting seemed to get it. He seemed to truly understand what i was looking for and knew what his role would be. He was game, planned the date and we met up.

Fuck…things are never that simple.

We go on our date and it actually goes quite well. I ask my guys to take me somewhere unique to the city that they enjoy, something I wouldn’t find on trip advisor. 

He fulfilled that. The meal we had was amazing and we followed that up with some hot make out sessions at a nearby jazz club. 

I was ready to go by the time he said, “Lets get out of here”. We went to his apartment and were all over each other in the elevator ride up to his flat. I wasn’t aware that he had a roommate but he did so after that bit of awkwardness we were in his room and ready to do the deed. 

I was attracted to him. He made me laugh and for this girl, that goes a loooooong way. So we joked a bit as we started to fool around. Everything was going great until…..

I saw his sex face. 

Ok bear with me for a moment. Everyone pretty much has a unique sex face. You probably don’t know what yours looks like but if no one has every mentioned it, you can assume it’s probably not all that weird. 

This guy’s sex face was unlike anything I had ever seen. A lot of men, and women for that matter, kind of look like they are in pain during the big o. My face looks very pouty and frowney as well, so I’m not judging here. Wait, how do I know what my face looks like when I cum? Video…..duh….enough said.

Ok so I’m going down on this guy and really going to town and I look up and there it is, the sex face I am now calling…..the tongue twister. I always always always look up at my partner when I’m down there doing the deed to gauge whether or not they are picking up what I’m putting down. Especially if they are the silent type. He wasn’t silent but I still love giving eye contact and enjoying seeing them writhe around in ecstasy. 

I have never in my life seen someone do this while they are enjoying a blow job and about to cum. Hopefully I can find the perfect image for this once I post this but it was what can only be described as him sticking his tongue out and twisting it back and fourth. Like, he was really going. I wondered where that enthusiasm was when he was going down on me earlier. I could’ve used some of that rotation instead of that finger pounding he gave me that I’m sure he saw in a bad porno once.

I know I’m being mean here but this particular human will never see this post so unclench your sphincter and relax cuz he’s never gonna see this. 

Ok so I make him cum, the tongue twisting stops and we enjoy the rest of the evening laying in bed, laughing and watching a documentary about a serial killer (yea I’m twisted like that). 

So here I’m thinking, maybe he only makes that face when he gets a blow job, because we haven’t had sex yet, just got each other off. Some people are SUPER sensitive when it comes to oral and maybe he was just being polite and didn’t want to tell me what to do or correct me (if he knew me better he know that I love being told what to do, but I digress). 

He wakes me up later in the evening and he’s ready to go. Okay awesome! So we start fucking and low and behold….the face makes it’s appearance again. Inside my head I’m just thinking, “has anyone ever mentioned this to him?”, “I wonder if he makes this face in other situations too?”, “he can really work that tongue”. 

Suddenly I realize, holy shit I’ve been thinking about this for like 3 or 4 minutes completely just out of the moment and before I can stop it, out comes a laugh. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I laughed at him during sex. A big no-no! It’s not my proudest moment. He asked why I was laughing and I apologized and said I was ticklish. Quick save but now I’m in this awkward state of trying not to laugh and trying not to look at the face again. 

So I give him my backside. Problem solved! I don’t have to see the face and we can continue the deed giggle free. 

The moral of the story here is….if you can’t handle the sex face, give him your back!